What is a Domestic Violence Shelter Like?

"Everyone was really respectful and I appreciated that, but most of all I felt safe. Thanks a lot!!!"

"For me, being so far away from my support system, having a bunch of great women to be around helped."

What was the best thing about the shelter?
"A place where people don't get hurt."

-Quotes from women and children who have stayed at Clackamas Women's Services' Shelter-

Staying at a domestic violence shelter can be a very positive experience. You will have a chance to meet and share your experiences with other women and children who have experienced domestic violence. You can learn more about resources such as housing assistance, addiction recovery programs, and parenting support. There are toys, games and books for children. Most shelters are confidential, wheelchair accessible, and free.

Staying at a domestic violence shelter can also be a challenging experience. You will be sharing a living space with people whom you don't know very well. There are many rules that you and your children will be asked to follow. These rules are meant to help assure your shelter experience is safe and educational and that all residents are treated with respect and cultural sensitivity.

This guide is meant to help you understand the challenges and benefits of staying in a domestic violence shelter. Please keep in mind that rules and services change from shelter to shelter so it's best to ask each shelter about their rules and services.

What is a Shelter Like?

Shelters are often large home converted for group living. There are common areas shared by all residents, such as the kitchen, living room, children's play room and laundry room. It many shelters, you will share a bedroom with other residents. Usually you will have a bunk-bed as well as a dresser or closet area for your family to store clothing and a few bags of personal belongings. Most shelters do not have storage space but they do have playground areas, off-street parking and laundry facilities.

Does It Cost Anything to Stay at a Shelter?

Staying at a shelter is free. There are some shelters that require that you participate in meal planning as a group. This means that, if you can, you will need to share the cost of buying food for the meals that are shared.

How Will a Shelter Help to Keep Me Safe from my Abuser?

For the safety of you and your children, most domestic violence shelters in the Clackamas-Multnomah-Washington County area (also known as the Tri-County area) are in confidential locations. This will make it harder for your abuser to find you and probably will help you feel safer. If you are staying at a confidential shelter, you will not be able to tell ANYONE the location of the shelter, even friends or family members (besides the children staying with you at shelter).

If you tell anyone where the shelter is, you will be asked to leave. You may not be able to return to that shelter again in the future. Shelters also protect your privacy and safety by refusing to give out information about you to other programs and individuals without a release of information form from you.

What Services Do Shelters Have for Children?

Most shelters have children's programs that are meant to provide age-appropriate, supportive services to children and youth. Children's program staff are trained for working with children and mothers who have experienced crisis. Through educational groups, free play time, and individual meetings, these staff people offer support, domestic violence education and encouragement to children and mothers.

What Kind of Rules Do Shelters Have?

Shelters have rules (often called policies or guidelines) meant to help assure your shelter experience is safe and educational and that all residents are treated with respect and cultural sensitivity. For example, you will be required to refrain from drinking alcohol or using illegal drugs while you are a shelter resident. Child abuse is not allowed in shelter, including verbal abuse of children and physical discipline such as spanking. You will also be required to attend meetings where you will have a chance to talk about domestic violence, parenting (if you have children at shelter), and the concerns you have about staying in shelter.

How Do I Get Into a Shelter?

The first step is to call and speak with a staff person about why you need shelter. The shelter staff will ask how many children you have with you and they will tell you if they have space available. If there is space, a staff person will complete a phone assessment with you. The phone call may take from 15 to 45 minutes. The purpose of the assessment is to decide if the shelter will be a safe place for your family, to share with you some guidelines of the program and to discuss how you will get to the shelter (car, bus, walk, etc.) Some of the questions may seem very personal to you and others may seem unnecessary. It is important that you answer these questions honestly.

What Will I Need to Take With Me?

If possible, take items of sentimental or monetary value, paperwork, enough clothing for at least a week, food, diapers, and personal hygiene supplies. Shelters usually can provide highchairs, car seats, cribs, linens and bedding for you to use while staying at shelter. If you are unable to take food, clothing, diapers and personal hygiene supplies with you when you leave and do not have the resources to buy these items, you can expect that the shelter will be able to provide you these supplies for the first few days you are in shelter. You will be given referrals to programs that can help you get these supplies during the rest of your stay.

Tri-County Domestic Violence Shelters

For information about shelters outside of Clackamas, Multnomah and Washington Counties, call the Portland Women's Crisis Line at 235-5333 (toll free). You do not have to call shelters only in the county that you live in, feel free to call shelters in other counties also. Many of these crisis lines, including Clackamas Women's Services, are TDD-accessible and can access language interpreters.

Clackamas County:	Clackamas Women's Services	503-654-2288
Washington Country:	Domestic Violence Resource Center	503-640-1171
Multnomah County:	Bradley-Angle House	503-281-2442
	Raphael House	503-222-6222
	Salvation Army West Women's & Children's	503-224-7718
	YWCA Yolanda House	503-977-7930